if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
