just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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