Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
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