U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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