It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
