CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
