part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I am never drinking with the goths again.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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