had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
