I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
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