last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
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