I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
