You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
