I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
