i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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