Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
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