Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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