From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
