My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize