No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
