Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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