I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
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