Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize