At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
