So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
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