I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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