): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
