Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
