my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
