quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
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