All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize