You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
