No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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