...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
