TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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