i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
COCAINE IS GR8
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
