White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
