it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I puked a lego.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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