Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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