There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
