So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
