After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
