I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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