youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
