Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
