There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Randomize
