Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Church boner. Awkwardddd
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
