what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
