their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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