still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
