yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
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