you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize