Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Randomize
