i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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