do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
