They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
