3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
