If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Randomize
