I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize