Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
