do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
